Introduction

Marriage is the first institution ordained by God. Family is God’s Design. The First Union of Man and Woman took place in the Garden of Eden before the fall. God desires that we have a fruitful marriage even in this fallen world but all married couples would agree that marriage isn’t easy, it’s hard. But the Bible contains a key to a successful marriage and it’s found in the second chapter of the Bible.

Genesis 2:24 – Principle for every marriage

If there is one verse that is read in every Christian wedding that is,

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

A Common Misinterpretation

The typical interpretation of this passage is that, after marriage, the man has to move out of his home to build his own family. So, we hear sermons about “leaving and Cleaving; why it’s important to leave your father’s house., etc.,” Though moving out of your parents house can be a good way to build your family in our world today, however, this verse in Genesis 2:24 never commands the man to leave his father’s house and live as an independent family, in fact, it talks about a great principle that can make marriage a beautiful place to be.

In this article, I’d like to share with you what this verse actually means in the context.

Actual Meaning

Let’s look at the Context first.

Context

Genesis 2:21
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

after this – comes the statement.

Genesis 2:24
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

To Understand, what this means, we must read Adam’s words when he sees Eve for the first time.

Genesis 2:23
Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Note that Phrase, “Bone of my Bone and flesh of my Flesh“.

Understanding Idioms

That Phrase is an Idiom. Idioms are artistic ways of expressing a certain kind of meaning or a way of putting across a message in an artistic way. So, when Adam says, “Bone of Bone and Flesh of my Flesh” he is using an idiom Here.

We also find similar expressions like this, in other parts in the Bible.

Genesis 29:14 NIV
Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.” After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month,

Laban says this to Jacob when He met him for the first time. This is because Laban was the brother of Jacob’s Mother, Rebekah. Laban says, “You are my own Flesh and blood”. The idiom that is used here may seem slightly different from what Adam says but it carries the same meaning. Because in Hebrew, the same words are used when Adam says, “Bone and Flesh” and even when Laban says, “Flesh and Blood”. It’s just that those words are translated differently in English however in Hebrew it’s the same.

Let’s look at another Passage:

Judges 9:2
In this passage, Abimelech is making a deal with the men at Schechem here so that he can become the next ruler.

So, He tells them

v2 ‘Which is better for you: to have all seventy of Jerub-Baal’s sons rule over you, or just one man?’ Remember, I am your flesh and blood.”

Note the idiom here “I am your flesh and blood”

One more passage:

2 Samuel 5:1 NIV
All the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron and said, “We are your own flesh and blood.

Again, note the use of the same idiom, “Flesh and Blood”. Basically, refers to blood relatives.

What does this idiom mean ?

When we study the culture at the time when these idioms, “Flesh and blood” were used, what we know is this, the Man always had the greatest level of obligation to his Parents, Siblings, Uncles, cousins, or any blood relatives but any relationship that comes through marriage is always secondary. Even if it’s a wife — it’s not that high priority. But cousins, brothers, or any blood relatives always had a higher priority.

Fixing priorities in Marriage

In a culture like this, This Verse,

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

commands this..

• Man has to treat his wife as if she was born in his own house and not as a woman who comes from another family, but someone born in his own house.

In simple words,

• Treat her as an Insider, not as an Outsider

Old Testament Professor, Dr. Havilah (SAIACS) taught this way, “A Man’s Obligation to his wife should not be less than the obligation that feels towards his blood relatives. Rather the man has to prioritize his wife over his own parents.”

That is why the verse says, “Leave his father and Mother”. It’s not talking about a geographical distance, as many often misunderstand but talking about leaving those old priorities (of loyalty to Parents behind) and taking on new priorities – which to prioritize your wife more than your own family.

That is what the Bible teaches us.

Isn’t that beautiful ?

Applying this truth in our culture

The Indian Culture is very similar to that. We prioritize our parents, siblings, cousins, and blood relatives more than our wife who comes from another family. But God commands us to leave those old priorities and take on new priorities — which means — Treat your wife as if she is your own blood relative.

Only for the Man ?

Is this only for the man? Not the Woman ?? No. It’s applicable for both. A lot of commandments and decrees that were given in the Bible were directed to men but it included women as well. So, women have to do the same. Once married, change your priorities to loving and being loyal to your husband more than your own parents.

Just think! How amazing would it be if, married couples were to follow this Verse, this principle?

I think we can all agree that marriages will become much more exciting place to be.

It’s not about leaving your parents after marriage.

Unfortunately, this is often misinterpreted to mean that a couple has to leave the family and be independent. That’s a wrong interpretation.

Some might argue and say, No this verse talks about leaving the father’s house.

Again, No.

If you look at Abraham — He was in his Father’s house when God called him.

Isaac stayed with his parents

Jacob’s stayed after marriage.

So this command never meant leaving your parents physically but means leaving old priorities behind and taking on new ones.

Follow Up Question: Is it Biblical to leave fathers’ house after marriage ?